Sad Blog Post

I just logged in as I finally have a chance to do some catch up.
Translation: Sick child in bed means me in bed with him.

My last post before my eyes 

and when I was reading it, I found myself feeling like it belonged to someone else.

I felt sad.

Again.
*********

The Bus

After ditching the nicely organized indoor hall

with its brochures and punch

it was not hard to get a bead on the incoming cadets.

Everywhere you turned, long intricate lines of surely faces

snaked across the grounds.

Since we were out the door

moments after Nathan left the building,

we had a pretty good idea of when to expect him

at what I call the Wailing Wall. 

 This was the view from my side of the wall,

where it became increasingly more crowded as parents instincts overtook

the booklets, pamphlets and muffins inside Mitchell Hall.

I NEED TO SEE MY KID.

Nathan somehow managed to keep his sunglasses on his head which helped track him.

Like a machine, out they came,

evenly spaced, already taking on military persona.

15 feet separated us. The crazy part of me wondered what might happen

if I jumped the wall for just one last hug.

I decided I didn't want him a marked man, especially when I saw what and who

was waiting at the end of this line.

Again, the line moved much too quickly.

Why doesn't that ever happen at Meijer??

Original backpacks were handed back and the machine called in processing continued.

The Bus is awaiting these future leaders.

The meticulous shiny white buses,

windows tinted darkly, concealing the mysteries of the The Bus Ride.

This fine gentleman was the "owner" of Nathans bus

and we knew from the stories that we had heard

as well as the 20 minute movie that we watched

that once on board, this dude had one job only:

Intimidation through Screaming.

Seriously the cadre must take voice lessons

to make it through the first few days of basic without losing their voices.

As the line moved closer to the bus and away from me

I stood on tiptoe and used my zoom.

Some nice AF dude took compassion on me and said
"You can move up to the front of the line"

which brought a new fountain of tears streaming through my sunglasses

and I couldn't even say thank you.

I felt panicky and some might say

that we should have left the grounds as soon as we said our first goodbye.

Go white water rafting or something fun. For us.

My last look at my civilian baby boy

as he boarded The Bus.

And the hydraulic door firmly closed.

And I thought seeing him drive out our driveway
in the Jeep for the first time was difficult...

Revisiting THAT DAY

Immediately after your cadet leaves you standing in the white tent,

they enter Doolittle Hall

"where the Journey begins",

although we know it began a long time ago.

USAFA folk know that they need to keep parents busy

so they generously fill a conference room in Doolittle Hall

with coffee, muffins, cakes, water, punch, cookies,

and tables filling the room with brochures and information

that probably make some people feel better

by walking around collecting in plastic USAFA bags.

After spending some heavy time in the ladies room,

we wandered around the room aimlessly,

our new journey certainly without much clarity.

I had my sunglasses on as did many moms

and it was  one of the kids that pointed out that the cadets

who were upstairs inprocessing,

needed to come downstairs and we were in the right spot to see them.

 Slowly as parents realized this,

the book tables emptied and we all gathered around this stairwell

waiting....

 Nathan is unique in his stature

and okay well, his boots-

he never leaves home without them.

This spontaneous sighting was such a blessing.

 We had a visual that told us he was in a squadron

that wore green tags. 

Very important for future sightings

considering 1200 kids are being inprocessed for this class alone.

*** HE WAS SO CLOSE***

We all yelled something,

"go Nathan", "you can do this"

and all manner of sentimental phrases could be heard

as the cadets filed past.

 With help from the glass windows,

we could see where the cadets were all headed.

We know now, and would recommend to all parents of doolies

in future years: use this entire day to become amateur paparazzi

and STALK YOUR KID and don't stop until the sun goes down.

It provides a sense of purpose 

and keeps you from spending so much in the gift shop.

The room cleared out fairly quickly

as we realized that we could track our cadets.

We didn't know for how long,

or to where

but any sightings at this point was the goal.

We later learned that after walking out this door

we would not see them smiling for some time.

Still not sure what they were told,

but it worked.

Day Before, Gift Shop Stress Relief

I think he did all of this just for us.

It certainly isn't in his normal range of personality

and is definitely outside of his comfort zone.

Or was.

Real men can act silly.

Silver Lake 2013 Family Pic #3

Encampment 2014-Enter The James Sisters

We are becoming an Air Force Family.

The girls just spent a week in Alena

with Civil Air Patrol for Encampment.

Not to be confused with regular summer camp.

This is about 1/3 of the cadets who attended.

 It felt very strange not seeing Nathan.

Knowing the girls are on the same team as him is awesome,

albeit in another state.

Encampment graduation always begins with Pass in Review.

This was our first sighting of them in a week

except a few scant pictures available on Smugmug

that the staff of Encampment takes and tries to keep updated.

I must confess I've gotten spoiled by Webguy,

who is taking thousands of pictures of the cadets in Colorado everyday.

I was a bit concerned the first day that smugmug posted

as I couldn't find the girls anywhere.

Part of me wondered if AJ had took off on foot

looking for the closest Burger King.

 What concerned me more was the second day

and I actually did see pics of them.

AJ standing at attention in front of table with tray of food.

It looked something like beef stew, mashed potatoes and peas.

 I was waiting daily for a call saying she was refusing to eat.

She actually tried everything, including bacon, tater tots and eggs.

I forgot about tater tots. I thought they disappeared with the dinosaurs.

Squadrons are broken into smaller flights.

The girls were in different flights but slept in the same barracks.

I've already heard lots of stories of the drama

that occurs in a barrack full of girls.

Nathan never came home with stories of drama.

Being a girl has it's privileges. Eh hem.

Each flight chose an Honor Cadet for the week

that was announced at graduation.

Echo Flight chose Adrianna James!

 Every flight competed for Honor Flight for the week.

This coveted position was heavily fought for.

The winner was ALPHA FLIGHT

Guess which James sister was in Alpha Flight?

The Alpha girls were all very proud and excited to have taken the honor.

 The girls were repeatedly asked if they had a sister at Encampment.

AJ was asked if she had a twin,

which she emphatically denied.

 Henceforth she was called the "little James"

Silver Lake2014 Family Pic #2

"Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

I am thinking happy thoughts."

I love these kids more than life.

Be there, in every moment.

Be there.

You Are So Going to Rock This

It's time to post the next series of photos.

I'm waiting for the right mood.

The right words.

A neutral feeling about the event.

Which is not ever going to happen

*************

Report time was 9:00 for Nathan's squadron for boot camp.

We had to stop at Walmart for paper clips.

Because of the staggered times,

everything seemed very orderly and calm.

Unsurprisingly, the line moved very quickly.

USAFA (You Sa Fa) folk were everywhere; smiling, welcoming,

handing out water, spraying sunscreen.

We followed. We just kept following the line

of kids with black backpacks;

some with parents, siblings, girlfriends.

Some with just an escort.

I had thought about this line.

It felt like it would be long, loud and seem to take all day.

Like waiting in line at Cedar Point for your favorite ride-

feeling nervous and excited, knowing it's all going to be good.

It did not take all day.

It was the fastest line I have ever experienced.

I knew there was a briefing for parents.

We were directed to this white tent.

I didn't bother taking pictures of the big brass speaking.

Time stopped as soon as he suggested

what a honor it was for each cadet to be there

and rattled off impressive stats about the Academy that I already knew.

Time stopped just long enough to revisit 

the disbelief and humble pride

that "we" really, really did it.

He did it.

Then big brass mentioned how well our kids

would be taken care of.

He wasn't supposed to do that yet.

I was thinking of at least an hour long briefing.

Maybe a break for lunch.

Time raced. Fasterthaniteverhas.

Hearing the suggestion to give our last goodbyes and kisses

was like the throes of labor.

What can you do?

What can you do

but let nature take it's course,

knowing that there is promise in pain

and that much pain = much loved.

And so the next phase of the journey began.

I will never forget what he said.

Or the look on his face.

And mine.

And the pain.

Independence Day

I am an American Airman.

I am a Warrior.

I have answered my Nation's call.

I am an American Airman.

My mission is to FLy, FIght, and Win.

I am faithful to a Proud Heritage,

A Tradition of Honor,

And a Legacy of Valor.

I am an American Airman.

Guardian of Freedom and Justice,

My Nation's Sword and Shield,

Its Sentry and Avenger.

I defend my Country with my Life.

I am an American Airman.

Wingman, Leader, Warrior.

I will never leave an Airman behind,

I will never falter,

And I will not fail.

 In thanks, for our freedom.